Post by Rue Tian Slyth7 on Nov 19, 2007 10:15:26 GMT -5
Hello and welcome to Hogwarts Magic! 
I'm going to be doing your approval... my apologies for not having gotten to it until now.. I've been so busy and I lost this site for the longest time - I didn't find it until today. Anyway, away from my story, what you have so far is great. There are a few changes you'll need to make before you can start writing, though.
1- All new members must start out with a first through third year, so please change this... and make sure Anna's age matches her year. (First -10/11, Second - 12/13, and Third - 13/14)
2- Anna's wand needs a length.
3- I need more in the physical description area; what does she like to wear? What do her eyes look like? Etc. Try to get this at least 3 sentences long.
4- Her personality description needs more to it. You have no need to tell me she's a pureblood because that is stated up at the top. What I look for in personality is what she's like? Is she mean? Nice? Bossy? What hobbies does she have? Etc. I need at least 3 sentences.
5- You need a history. Where was she born? What were her parents like? Is she an only child? Does she have any friends? Etc. At least 6 sentences long for this one.
Once you have made these changes, resubmit your bio in this thread and I'll continue with your approval.
Name: Anna Van De Kamp
Age: 16
Year:6
House:Slytherin
Blood:Pure
Pet:Owl named Jade
Wand:Black with a unicorn hair at the core
Physical Description:5'3 , black hair with natural highlights
Personality Description:pureblood
History:
Any additional information:
I'm going to be doing your approval... my apologies for not having gotten to it until now.. I've been so busy and I lost this site for the longest time - I didn't find it until today. Anyway, away from my story, what you have so far is great. There are a few changes you'll need to make before you can start writing, though. 1- All new members must start out with a first through third year, so please change this... and make sure Anna's age matches her year. (First -10/11, Second - 12/13, and Third - 13/14)
2- Anna's wand needs a length.
3- I need more in the physical description area; what does she like to wear? What do her eyes look like? Etc. Try to get this at least 3 sentences long.
4- Her personality description needs more to it. You have no need to tell me she's a pureblood because that is stated up at the top. What I look for in personality is what she's like? Is she mean? Nice? Bossy? What hobbies does she have? Etc. I need at least 3 sentences.
5- You need a history. Where was she born? What were her parents like? Is she an only child? Does she have any friends? Etc. At least 6 sentences long for this one.
Once you have made these changes, resubmit your bio in this thread and I'll continue with your approval.
Name: Anna Van De Kamp
Age: 16
Year:6
House:Slytherin
Blood:Pure
Pet:Owl named Jade
Wand:Black with a unicorn hair at the core
Physical Description:5'3 , black hair with natural highlights
Personality Description:pureblood
History:
Any additional information: